Little boys lost

Over the Easter weekend while visiting Derrick's family in Pittsburgh, I met two little Asian boys who were in the care of Derrick's mom who is a foster parent. They were brothers ages 1 and 2 years old. They were just the cutest little kids and as equally sweet as rambunctious. They had been living with Derrick's mom for a little over a month and I marveled at how quickly they had attached themselves to their new famiy. They called Derrick's mom "mom" and her husband "dad". It didn't matter that their new mom and dad were black and they were Asian.

I recently heard that these children are now in a new foster home after their biological parents (immature, neglectful idiots) petitioned to regain custody of them, reclaimed their two little boys, and then 24 hours later called childrens' protection services to return them to foster care. Apparently, they couldn't handle them. Unbelievable!!!

People, honestly, if you're not mature enough to have and raise kids, please don't have them. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Don't screw up perfectly good kids because you can't get your own life together. It's not fair to them.

Now these kids are living with a new set strangers and going through the process of connecting with yet another family, which I'm sure is extremely difficult for them. Unfortunately, within the 24 hours that the boys were with their biological parents, a new toddler was placed in Derrick's mom's home and, therefore, she was unable to take the two Asian boys back in. I am so hurt by this.

When I think about them, I imagine my own childhood and how I took for granted that my parents were always there to nuture me and make sure that I was well taken care of. I wonder what will happen to these two little boys. Who will nurture them? Are their new foster parents as good as Derrick's mom and stepdad? Will these kids become statistics and get bounced from one foster care home to another? What happens if their parents are never responsible enough to take care them? What happens then? The thought of their uncertain futures saddens me greatly.

Losing my motivation?

I'm really hoping that this is my last consecutive post about weight loss. I have to admit that just as my sister is getting sick of me talking about points, I'm getting a little sick of posting about weight loss. I'm hoping this is not the beginning of a trend because my last WW weigh-in was 2 weeks ago and I haven't rejoined WW yet. I'm finding that I NEED the WW meetings and weigh-ins to keep me honest. I have no idea what I weigh right now. The home scale is ALWAYS inconsistent.

Unfortunately, for the past 2 days I've been eating terribly, and for the past 2 weeks I've been ok with hovering around the same weight. This is not good. This is what happened when I started to slip the last time. When you start getting content with maintaining instead of losing, you'll eventually become ok with seeing the scale numbers getting higher and higher.

I'm determined that this will NOT happen again. And I need YOU to help keep me focused (comments are appreciated). I'm starting the Laurel WW meeting on Saturday. If Sunday comes and I don't mention this meeting, please hold me accountable. Thanks.

Obsessed with points talk?

My sister thinks I'm obsessed with points and Weight Watchers and weight loss, and I think she's right. I can't remember a conversation I've had with her since I started Weight Watchers in January where I haven't mentioned how many points I've eaten or how many points something is. I can't help it. And I told her that it's almost impossible to be on Weight Watchers and not be obsessed with points. I mean when you think about it, Weight Watchers requires that you think about the point value of everything you put in your mouth, so in reality how can you not be obsessed with points.

So for her sanity I've decided that I'm going to TRY not to talk to my sister about points anymore, but I will still maintain my obsession otherwise. It's when you lose that obsession that you lose motivation and the weight comes back. I know this from experience.

Anyway, speaking of points...

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Menu
2 pancakes w/ light syrup - 6 pts
2 bacon strips - 2 pts
Chocolate - 2 pts
Banana - 2 pts
Turkey sandwich - 6 pts
Salad w/ dressing - 0 pt
Crackers - 2 pts
2 chicken wings - 6 pts

26 pts eaten, 28 weekly flex pts

From overeater to under-eater

Yesterday I posted that I over ate to the excess of 35 pts in one day. I still feel a little guilty about this. I've never eaten a whole bag of tortilla chips while I was on WW. Anyway, today I ate a total of 18 pts (my daily pts total is 28), but this was not intentional.

I was still in a little pain today but determined to move around and get some stuff done. So I over medicated myself (never a good idea) and then headed out to Lowes to do some shopping. I needed to pick up some materials for getting my floor tiled (I'm finally getting around to this). Then later I went to my cousin's house to see his new baby (she's too cute).

After eating dinner I wrote down all of my pts for the day and realized that I had only eaten 18 pts. Again, this was not intentional. I didn't set out to make up for my binge from yesterday. Under-eating is just as bad as overeating in my opinion. I've been wondering for the past few hours why I've been feeling a little dizzy and lightheaded. Well now I know (although over medicating myself may also be a factor). Anyway, below is my menu for the day.

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Menu
Banana - 2 pts
Toast w/ light butter - 1 pt
WW pepperoni pizza - 6 pts
Yogurt - 1 pt
Grilled chicken sandwich - 7 pts
Apple dippers - 1 pt (If you haven't tried these, please go directly to Mickey D's and try them. They're delish and only 1 pt!)

18 pts eaten, 28 weekly flex pts

Sick at home and eating everything in sight

Sigh... the title pretty much sums up what I've been doing and how I've been feeling today. I've been a bit under the weather all this week, but last night was pure torture. For several years now I have had episodes of severe abdominal pain caused by fibroids. Well last night the pain kicked back into high gear and I was pretty much incapacitated all night. I usually keep Advil or Aleve on my person at all times, but unfortunately I had taken my last pill earlier in the day and the pain didn't kick in until about 11:00 p.m. I should have immediately gone to the store for medicine but instead decided to wait it out. Waiting it out resulted in probably a total of 30 minutes of restless sleep and me rushing to the bathroom in the morning with dry heaves. For some reason this happens to me when I'm stressed and don't get enough sleep. Oh yeah, and in addition to the pain, I'm also suffering from allergies. Fun. Fun.

So, because I was a complete zombie this morning and still feeling pain and an itchy throat and congestion, I decided that my only option was to stay home from work today. I went to the grocery store this morning for medicine (looking like hell by the way) and basically laid on my couch all day (upon which I'm currently sitting right now). Oh yeah, and I ate. And ate. And ate.

I'm noticing that whenever I get out of my daily routine, I eat. For instance, I ate an ENTIRE bag of tortilla chips today (24 pts worth!!!). I haven't done this in a long time (well before I started WW), and why did I buy tortilla chips anyway? What's wrong with me? I've listed today's menu below so you can see what happens when I'm stuck in the house sick. I feel like a fat pig right about now. Oink!

I can't wait until I can get these fibroids under control and can feel like my normal self again.

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Menu for the day
Yogurt - 4 pts (that's 4 individual containers of 1 pt WW yogurt by the way...Oink!)
Banana - 2 pts
Chicken panini - 5 pts
Tortilla chips - 24 pts!!! (Oink.. oink... oink!)

35 pts eaten (ugh!!!!), 28 weekly flex pts left

The stupid things people do

1. Back up huge white van without looking
2. Bang huge white van into the front of my 8-year-old black Mazda Millenia while it's parked and I'm sitting in it
3. Upon determining that there is no visible damage, don't exchange insurance and driver's license information with stupid reckless driver of huge white van, but instead breathe a sigh of relief, tell stupid reckless driver of huge white van that everything is ok, and then drive away
4. Realize later that the bang has now caused my 8-year-old black Mazda Millenia to drive a little rough, make funny noises, and cause the car alarm to go off everytime I use a key to open the door
5. Realize two days later that the bang has caused my back to seize up into very painful back spasms

The moral to this story: ALWAYS EXCHANGE INFORMATION AFTER AN ACCIDENT EVEN WHEN THERE APPEARS TO BE NO VISIBLE DAMAGE!!!!!!!!!

Signed,
Stupid victim of stupid reckless driver of huge white van

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Menu (so far)
Apple oatmeal - 2 pts
WW pepperoni pizza - 6 pts
2 Peppermint patties - 4 pts

12 pts eaten, 35 weekly flex pts

Missed my last WW meeting...sigh

I took the day off from work on Monday because I needed to recuperate from this past weekend's activities. Derrick, Jamal and I went to Pittsburgh to visit Derrick's family for the Easter holiday weekend and it was more than a little hectic. Imagine 8 kids (ages 1, 2, 3 [three of them], 5, and 8 [two of them]) and you get why it was so hectic. BUT they were also a lot of fun. I love it when kids (especially cousins) get together. They are so wild and crazy.

I tried to eat well while I was away but it's always hard to do that when you're away from your routine and I couldn't resist the kids' Easter candy, particularly the jelly beans (my weakness). So besides staying home from work to recuperate I was also ducking my last Weight Watchers meeting (my meetings are at work) because I was sure that I had gained. I got on the scale Sunday night (the night before weigh in) to assess the damage from the weekend and it looked as though I had GAINED 2 or 3 POUNDS (totally unacceptable!!!). I considered using my "no weigh-in pass" but decided that doing that would be too depressing so instead I figured it was further reason for me to take the day off.

Now, however, I realize that was dumb since I actually ended up losing weight and not gaining. While I was at home on Monday (and not at work), I got on my scale and weighed myself at 1:00 p.m., the same time that I usually weigh in at work. The scale reflected a 3 to 4 pound LOSS! I hate when the scale isn't consistent from one day to the next. I just messed up a perfect meeting attendance record at my LAST MEETING! I'm quite positive that if I had weighed in yesterday I officially would have reached my 10% goal. Sigh... I can be so silly sometimes.

But, I can't be too upset about it. Even though I don't know exactly how much I lost according to Weight Watchers, I do know that I definitely lost something because my charcoal grey pants that were too tight last week are now on my behind today and fitting me PERFECTLY!!! I guess running after 8 kids cancels out the results of a jelly bean attack... Who knew?

So now that the work WW meetings are over, I'm committing to starting the Saturday morning WW meetings in my hometown again. I'm determined to be a size 10 (or less) by my birthday in December. I really think I'm going to make it this time.

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Menu (so far)
English muffin w/ butter - 2 pts
Coffee w/ cream - 1 pt
Chicken sandwich - 6 pts
Apple dippers - 1 pt

10 pts eaten, 35 weekly flex pts

Thinking about (and missing) grandma

Yesterday as I was driving to work, the song “The Best of Times (Grandma’s Song)” by Dianne Reeves was playing on the radio. That song always makes me cry because it makes me think of Grandma Charlie Mack. I was very close to her growing up, visiting her often during the summers and holidays at her home in North Carolina. Eventually she would come to live with my family in Maryland. She died when I was in my sophomore year of high school.

My fondest memories of my grandma are of the two of us sitting together on the couch singing hymns out of her old hymnal. She was a very devout Baptist, and she loved to hear me sing the Gospel. She also liked to share stories of growing up in her large family in North Carolina. She was 1 of 13 children. She used to tell me stories of her oldest brother, James, who had served in World War II, and of her two sisters who had died in infancy. She was always a wealth of knowledge regarding the family’s history.

She also told me the story behind her unusual name. Her father named her after his best friend because he thought he and my great grandmother weren’t going to have anymore children, and therefore no more sons. His last two children at the time my grandmother was born were girls. It’s funny to think about it now since he ended up having 9 more children and 3 of them were sons. Go figure!

Anyhow, that song has been ringing in my head all morning. I guess I’m really missing my grandma today.

Those really were the best of times.

Google: A path to reconnecting with old friends

As I'm sure I've mentioned several times in past posts, I have a lot of down time at my job. Fortunately, this will change very soon as I have a ton of new work that is arriving next week. However, in the meantime, I've found comfort in passing the time by reading blogs and surfing the Internet, and have become quite adept at finding just about anything on the Internet. Want to know how to get somewhere? Google it. Want to find out more information about something? Google it. Want to reconnect with old friends? GOOGLE IT.

Anyway, today as I was googling to my hearts content, I wondered whatever happened to my former coworker and good friend Nicole who I haven't talked to in YEARS. I worked with Nicole for about 3 years almost 10 years ago. That was back when I was working as an administrative assistant fresh out of college, semi independent (did what I wanted but was still being supported by my parents), and really enjoying hanging out with a few girls from work for happy hour and clubbing. We even went to the Bahamas together. Anyway, Nicole and I attempted to keep in touch for a little while after I left that job, but unfortunately we lost touch. It also didn't help that I lost favor with some of the girls that hung out with us, but after more than 10 years, that's water under the bridge.

I googled Nicole's name and immediately found her telephone and work email address. Warning to all: if you didn't know, many people's personal information can be found this way and unfortunately there's very little you can do about it. Fortunately for Nicole, I am not some crazy stalker, I'm just an old friend from the past who wanted to reconnect. So, I reconnected.

I sent Nicole an email letting her know that I had found her name and work contact information through a Google search, told her who I was (as if she needed to know that), and that I was trying to get in contact with her. Almost immediately after I hit the SEND button, I received the following response: "OMIGOD---this is a blast from the past!!! How are you!?!?!" Just like that, we reconnected and have made plans to meet for dinner next week.

The Internet IS good for something.

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Menu (so far)
Yogurt - 1 pt
Toast w/ butter - 2 pts
Coffee w/ cream - 1 pt
Chicken salad sandwich - 9 pts (bad choice, too much mayo)
Chips (baked) - 4 pts (why?)

17 pts (eaten...I must really have the munchies today because I rarely eat this many pts before dinner), 35 weekly flex pts

Spelman College: A celebration of 125 years

"Spelman, thy name we praise
Standards and honor raise
We'll ever faithful be
Throughout eternity
May peace with thee abide
And God forever guide
Thy heights supreme and true
Blessings to you.

Through years of toil and pain
May thy dear walls remain
Beacons of heavenly light
Undaunted by the fight
And when life's race is won
Thy noble work is done
Oh, God forever bind
Our hearts to thine"

- Spelman Hymn words and music by Eddye Mae Money, C'1934

Today marks the 125th anniversary of Spelman College, my alma mater. Unfortunately, as usual I am not able to attend any of the Founder's Day activities in Atlanta, but I always find a way to celebrate in spirit.

I have much love for my alma mater and encourage all my Spelman sisters to give back to the college that gave us so much.

My Sisters of the Class of 1993:
Remember freshman year when we sang the Spelman hymn in Sister's Chapel at EVERY ORIENTATION?!!
Remember the freshman step show? (Go Manley Hall!)
Remember our sister president Dr. Johnetta Cole?
Remember when Camille and Bill Cosby broke ground on The Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Academic Center? (I still have my hard hat!)
Remember the convocations where we sat and listened to the words of Maya Angelou, Angela Davis, Toni Morrison, Wynton Marsalis, and so many others?
Remember the traditional white dresses and black shoes we wore at graduation?
Remember when Oprah Winfrey was the keynote speaker at our graduation?
Remember how special Spelman is?

Remember?

I do.

Never forget, ladies.

Three pounds down and I'm feeling good

After worrying all week that I was going to gain again this week, I was happy to discover that I actually lost three pounds. As of today, I have officially lost 23.6 pounds with Weight Watchers since I began January and am now less than 2 pounds from reaching my 10% goal. I am ecstatic.

I am positive that working out to the dance DVD last night helped me lose the pounds so I'm now recommitting myself (once again) to starting a consistent exercise routine. Since the weather will be in the 70s this week, I have already made plans with a coworker to start walking again at lunch time. I'm also going to keep working out to the dance DVD in the evenings and maybe even try out the new kickboxing DVD. I'm really hoping that by the end of this month I will be down another 10 pounds. I have my fingers crossed.

Menu (so far)
WW blueberry yogurt - 1 pt
Salad w/ dressing - 0 pt
Turkey and provolone cheese sandwich - 4 pts
Green/red/yellow peppers w/ dressing - 0 pt
WW strawberry/banana yogurt - 1 pt

6 pts eaten (so far), 35 weekly flex pts

I can't dance but I sweated anyway

Remember when I said that I bought a dance and kickboxing DVD? Well I finally got around to actually doing the dance DVD tonight. I still haven't tried the kickboxing DVD yet. I was pleasantly surprised by the dance DVD. I actually got through the entire DVD without stopping, which is a true feat for me. I usually get winded about half way through an exercise video and end up watching it instead of moving to it. But it was pretty fun because it offered different types of dance like hip hop, latin, and ballet.

The only thing that really frustrated me with the DVD was that I couldn't always follow the dance moves. I'm not coordinated. I did the best I could and kept moving (and sweating a lot) but when I had to put the individual dance moves into a routine, I was pretty much hopeless. Actually I did very well with the ballet, but the hip hop and latin moves were almost impossible. I'm glad Derrick was upstairs and not watching me because if he was I'm sure he would have laughed at me. I'm hoping that as I continue to do the DVD, I'll get much better at it.

Wish me luck!

Working alone sucks

When I started this blog, I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't use this forum to discuss my job or the people who work there. I've heard too many horror stories about how people blogged about the inner goings on at their jobs and then ended up fired because of it. Well I'm going to chance it today since this entry will be pretty benign. I just need to let go of a little stress that has been consuming me as of late.

I work for a very small company that is located inside of a much larger company. We have a special arrangement with the larger company (mentor/protegee relationship) which allows this to happen. Currently my company has a staff of 2.5 people in these offices: the boss, the project manager (me), and a part-time administrative person. There are other employees who work for my company but they are located offsite in another building. I don't work directly with the offsite staff and only see a few of them at our weekly Weight Watchers meeting. When I first started this job, I had a team of 2 staff (Paul and Gregory) working with me on my project, but now they no longer work for my company. They made working at my job fun. Unfortunately ever since they left, it has been a bit of a struggle to "like" my job.

My boss, although a nice guy, is a bit too reclusive for my taste and spends much of his time outside of the office. The part-time guy is also nice, but we don't have much in common. I've ventured out to the larger company to connect with other people (especially women) and make friendships but I can never shake the feeling of being the outsider since we don't work for the same company. It's a challenge, especially after working at my old company where socializing with my coworkers was an everyday occurrence. Now I mainly just sit at my desk and stare into the computer screen all day. Fun. Fun.

Unfortunately, I don't see things improving in the near future. However, on a positive note, I recently received a bunch of new work, so I'll probably be too busy to concentrate on the lack of social interaction at work... On second thought, that doesn't really sound all that positive.

Oh well... enough of this. Back to work.

Menu (so far)
WW yogurt - 1 pt (these are really good, BTW)
Green/red/yellow peppers w/ fat free raspberry vinaigrette salad dressing - 0 pts (yum!)
Chicken panini - 6 pts
WW yogurt - 1 pt

8 pts (eaten), 35 weekly flex pts

A much needed apology

"I come before this body to personally express again my sincere regret about the encounter with the Capitol Hill police... There should not have been any physical contact with police. I am sorry that this misunderstanding happened at all, and I regret its escalation. And I apologize." - Cynthia McKinney

I don't generally like to talk politics or about politicians, but I felt the need to say something about this whole Cynthia McKinney mess. I almost didn't write anything after reading so many conservative blogs on the subject because they sounded so nasty, but as a MODERATE (liberal on social issues and conservative on economic issues) African American Democrat I have to say reluctantly that I AGREE with many of them.

It's about time she apologized.

Yesterday, I watched McKinney on American Morning with Soledad O'Brien and I just felt sad. She looked like an idiot. Instead of answering the question that people wanted to hear, "What happened in the incident with the Capitol Hill police officer, from your perspective?" she found every excuse in the book not to answer the question. This was after making at least 2 other televised appearances (why?) where she didn't seem to have a very clear and cohesive response as to why she hit the officer. Oh, and that press conference was REALLY a joke. Racial profiling indeed! Why she had to get my dear Danny Glover involved in her mess I will never know. Kudos to all of the African American members of Congress who didn't feel the need to jump on her band wagon.

Lady, you hit a COP with your cellphone because you were mad that he didn't recognize you: the "high and haughty" congresswoman. Ok, granted, you're a congresswoman, but the chief of the Capitol Hill police made a good point. There are 500 congressmen and women and even though 14 are black and you would probably assume recognizable to the guards at the door, these people are not in DC all the time. They go back and forth between DC and their home states, namely Georgia in McKinney's case, all the time. So there's a possibility that she wouldn't be readily recognized, especially with that new hairdo (I've been natural too, girlfriend, but I don't think I ever left the house - let alone been in front of the cameras - looking like that).

So, I'm glad that McKinney finally apologized because saying that the incident was sparked by racial profiling was just idiotic. That sorry statement was a slap in the face to those African Americans who have really been racially profiled. Their encounters usually result in jail time, hers was just a call to stop and when she didn't, an officer grabbed her arm to make her stop. She hit a cop and didn't even get jail time..."high and haughty" indeed.

I salute Soledad O'Brien for finally bringing forth this apology because I for one know that when McKinney reviewed the tape of her interview, like I did, she realized how much of an ass she made of herself and decided that the only thing she could do at this point to make this mess go away was apologize.

Kudos to the chief of Capitol police who made reference to "high and haughty" individuals who don't believe they need to follow the rules. I love that term.

Sista Congresswoman McKinney please take note. You are the very definition of "high and haughty." Now please immediately get over yourself, and let the Capitol Hill police go back to protecting and serving your privileged ass...

Ok, I'm done. No more political rants for a while...

Menu
Yogurt - 1 pt
Toast w/ butter - 3 pts
Salad w/ dressing - 3 pts
Chicken noodle soup - 3 pts
Pretzels - 4 pts
Asian Shanghai salad - 8 pts (not really sure...guessing)
2 bagels w/ butter - 5

27 pts (eaten), 35 weekly flex pts

Sell this house

My sister and her family are moving to Atlanta in May. So for the past week I have been helping her clean her house and stage it for potential homebuyers. If you've never done this before, this is a huge job. Maybe it would have been easier if it was my house, since I know where everything should go. But packing up someone else's house is not fun. I mean how do I know where her stuff goes. I don't live there.

Well, my sister and I love to watch that show, "Sell This House", so we thought packing and staging to sell a house would be a snap. Yeah right! Let me tell you, that show makes packing and staging look easy. It ain't. Now I know why the big burly guy on the show only stages and doesn't pack. I mean this guy is a he-man with muscles bulging so big he can't even put his arms down by his side, but he lifts NOTHING...well, maybe a curtain rod. But furniture? FUHGEDDABOUTIT. He must have insisted in his contract that no matter how strong he looks, he's not lifting anything. I like him.

Anyway, the house officially went on the market on yesterday. I wish we were able to put hidden cameras throughout the house like they do on "Sell This House", so we can see what potential homebuyers have to say about the house. I guess I'm just nosey that way.

I wish my sister much success with the sell of her house, and a happy new life in Atlanta in her new gigantic house. Congrats, sis!

Menu (so far)
Bagel with jam - 3 pts
WW chocolate bar - 2 pts
Chicken panini - 5 pts
Salad w/ dressing - 0 pts
1/2 container of tomato soup - 1 pt

11 pts (eaten), 32 weekly flex points

One pound gain and no regrets

I said I wouldn't be upset if I gained a pound at weigh in (I did), and I'm not. However, I was a bit surprised considering I thought I had eaten less last week then the week before. Oh well, I still think the cheeseburger and fries were worth it. The only thing that I'm disappointed about is that I didn't write down my points last week as diligently as I had been. So starting today I'm back to meticulously tracking my points. I'm also stepping up my walking and exercising.

When I slipped on my pants this morning, I noticed that they fit a lot better than the last time I wore them, which was in the past couple of weeks. Maybe the one pound gain was muscle weight and not the cheeseburger and fries...

Yeah, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Menu
Oatmeal - 3 pts
Salad - 0 pt
Salad dressing - 1 pt
Turkey sandwich - 6 pts
WW chocolate bar - 2 pts
Shrimp fettucine - 15 pts
2 slices reg. bread - 2 pts
Butter - 1 pt

30 pts eaten so far, 32 weekly flex pts

Visiting the cherry blossoms

Derrick, his son Jamal, and I went to see the cherry blossoms today. The weather was beautiful, so of course the place was packed. A beautiful day when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom always brings out hoards of people, but despite the crush, we still had a great time.

We took pictures, ate Italian ices (yum), and had an overall nice time admiring the beautiful and the not so beautiful sites around us. I don't know why it is but as soon as the weather starts getting a little warm, people start wearing their summer clothes. It's not that hot outside, people!

Some people looked great. They have been working out all winter and they can't wait to show off their well toned bodies. BUT there were also those that never denied themselves a cheeseburger during the winter months, and now that the weather is nice, they put on last year's summer clothes thinking that they could still fit them. Well they couldn't. I saw more jiggly bellies rolling over jeans and hip bulges peeking out of hip huggers than I ever cared to see. It is my heartfelt belief that if you do not have the body to wear certain clothes, then please don't. It just looks so sad and hurts my eyes. I was mentally writing out fashion police ticket violations all day.

Never satisfied

I can only relate this to women since I'm a woman and I discuss this topic with many other women, but why does it seem like we're never satisfied? The women I know are smart, strong, and accomplished, but always seem to want what they don't have. Maybe I'm wrong about this, but men don't seem to have this problem. I wonder if it's society that causes this or is it our family and friends or is it a strong desire within ourselves to want things we don't have or is it a combination of all three. I say this because I fall into this category. I'm a single, 34-year-old woman with a lot of things going for me but I still can't help feeling incomplete at times. Even though I have a great boyfriend, I have a great relationship with my boyfriend's son, I have a job that pays me well, I own my own townhouse, I own my own car, and I have great friends, I still want more. I want to be married, I want to have a baby, I want to be truly fulfilled in a job that pays well, I want a bigger house, I want a new car, I want to be at least a size 10 (maybe even 8)... I want... I want... I want...

I have a single friend who has a job that pays well, has great friends, has a nice apartment in a great part of DC, has an active social life, but still feels incomplete without a husband, a house, a fulfilling job that pays her better, and a size 2 wardrobe. She wants... she wants... she wants...

I have still another friend who is married, has a baby, has a house, but still wants more. The list of friends and their wants goes on and on.

I don't have the answers as to why we can't be truly satisfied with what we already have instead of wanting what we want when we want it. I wish I did. I wish the desire "to want" wasn't so strong. I wish my friends and I could be satisfied with what we have, or at least be content with waiting for our wants to come in due time. It's a constant struggle.

I don't know about my friends but maybe the reason why I want so much is because my parents cursed me with the middle name Desiree. It means to desire and to want.

Thanks, mom and dad.

Mmm...cheeseburger and fries

I probably shouldn't write this since some of my friends who are on Weight Watchers like to read my blog and come to me for dieting advice and motivation, but...last night I indulged my fast food craving that has been "eating" at me for the past few weeks. I ate a juicy cheeseburger dripping with ketchup and mustard and tasty french fries from Five Guys Burgers and Fries. If you've ever been there, you know that this is simply heaven. I've had a love love relationship with Five Guys ever since I discovered the place while shopping at a new shopping center in my area last year. My boyfriend Derrick (satisfied, Kelli?) and I visited the place often before I started Weight Watchers. However, I haven't been back there since January and they have since opened a franchise in my hometown of Laurel, so it was only a matter of time when I would feel the need to indulge in Five Guys' tasty treats again.

After eating my burger and fries (and sipping on a Diet Coke), I didn't feel even a tinge of regret. I didn't go crazy. I ordered the little cheeseburger (which isn't so little) instead of the regular cheeseburger and I ordered the regular fries instead of the large. I just wanted to eat something that was really good and really fattening, and (dare I write this) if I gain a pound, which I don't think I will since I planned my points carefully, the burger and fries were worth it.

I keep reminding myself and others that the good thing about Weight Watchers is that you can eat whatever you want. You just have to remember that moderation is key and that you just need to plan what you're eating. If you deny yourself your cravings, you'll end up overeating and going off Weight Watchers altogether. And that is so not good.