I'm a food watcher...not a Weight Watcher

I didn't go to weigh-in yesterday. I had too much to do in preparing for my coworker's wedding and my cousin's housewarming. Besides, I did so poorly all week, I knew that I wouldn't see a loss or would mostly see a gain. Anyway, I continued my poor eating ways and decided to screw the whole weight watching thing for the rest of the weekend, which leads me to today.

My mom and I decided to check out the new restaurant in town "Red Sky" for dinner. This restaurant should be in DC or some other urban environment because the decor, cuisine, and PRICEYNESS are, frankly, too much for surburban Laurel. I almost didn't go because the restaurant is so expensive. There are steaks on the menu in excess of $40! And that's just steak; no sides or anything else (I guess I'm used to eating at chain restaurants because that's excessive to me.) Anyway, I won't say that the prices are worth it, but after eating my Applewood flounder with jumbo lump crab meat, mashed potatoes, and sauteed spinach, I actually didn't feel a bit sorry for blowing my Weight Watchers points out of the water. It was deeeelicious.

But now that is behind me. I hope next week is a better week for Weight Watchers. (Yes, I know how deluded I am...)

Call me Miss Va va va voom

My coworker is getting married tomorrow and I've been invited to her wedding. I've known about this wedding for over a month now, so of course I chose TODAY during my lunch break to find a dress. I'm happy to report that my struggles with finding a decent dress are behind me. I can now wear regular size dresses in a department store; no more plus size dresses that look like something only a granny would wear.

At first I was a little intimidated. Most of the dresses had skinny straps, no straps, or halter straps (the kinds that I've always steered away from) but I figured what the hell, I've lost 30 pounds. The least I could do is try them on. So, I picked out 6 dresses and took them to the dressing room. The results were as follows:

Dress #1 was brown, knee length, and was showing off entirely too much of my boobage. Derrick would have loved it but alas I am not into hoochie gear, so I went to the next dress...

Dress #2 was a cute v-neck, black dress with white polka dots and skinny straps. I loved it, but couldn't get the dress to zip up on the side, so ONWARD...

Dress #3 was also black. I had a little difficulty getting into this dress because I thought it had straps. It didn't. I quickly realized I was actually trying to wear the hanger straps. When I finally got everything together and looked in the mirror, my mouth just hung wide open. The dress was BANGING!!! I never thought a strapless dress could look so good on me. Anyway, I put that one to the side as a DEFINITE maybe...

Dress #4 was a brown halter dress. It had pink and cream designs on it. It was the only dress that was a plus size. I thought I'd try it on just in case I couldn't wear the others. It was cute and I would have definitely considered buying it... only it was HUGE on me. Guess what, I no longer wear a 18W...yippee!!!

Dress #5 was an unusual choice for me. The cut was similar to the strapless black dress but it had thin straps and a jagged hem. Oh and it was very colorful. The basic color of the dress was cream, but it also had tiny gold lines and big splashes of color throughout. When I first saw it on the rack, I thought the cut was beautiful but that the color may be a bit too wild for me. When I tried it on, I knew I HAD TO HAVE IT. WOW! I loved the way it looked on me. It was so beautiful and elegant. Only downside was that it was the most expensive of the bunch and I would also have to buy shoes to wear with it. So although I knew I wanted to get it, I had to consider the last dress...

Dress #6, although cute, really had no chance. It was purple, had little sleeves, flowed down to my feet, and looked similar to dresses that I have worn in the past (dumpy). The old Dee would have bought it because it was the best looking of the granny dresses. The new and somewhat improved Dee wanted va va va voom, so...

After careful thought and consideration, I bought Dress #3 AND Dress #5 AND ran down to Payless to buy a cute pair of strappy gold heels to wear with Dress #5 to the wedding tomorrow! Screw the price. I'll finally have at least two dresses in my closet that won't look like I've been robbing granny. I only hope I don't make the bride angry tomorrow when I outshine her at her wedding dress...just kidding... or maybe not.

I'll try to post pics of me in the dresses later.

I walked!

Food choices were just ok yesterday and today I've already reached 25 pts and it's only 3:00. I don't understand why I easily could eat 28 and 30 points a day with no problem and often with extra points left over, but I'm finding it incredibly hard to stick to 26 pts a day without bingeing. Someone help me figure this out.

Anyway, I did get a walk in yesterday and I'm proud of that. I got home a little early from work. Instead of plopping myself in front of the TV (which is what I usually do when I get home), I put on my sweatpants, T-shirt, and shoes, and headed out the door. I didn't even call Kelli to see if she wanted to go with me (this usually stops me from going when she says no). I walked for about 40 minutes in the heat and humidity through my neighborhood and nearby neighborhoods that I usually drive by but never walk. I've lived in my neighborhood for almost 4 years and now and this was the first time I had ever taken a walk!

As I walked, part of me couldn't believe that I had convinced myself to do it and the other part was proud that I did. Anyway, I carried my water bottle with me so I wouldn't pass out from the heat. I'm sure it was at least 90 degrees. Overall, I felt pretty good about it and am looking forward to doing it again. Unfortunately, it probably won't be today (or the day after either). We're expecting torrential rain and thunderstorms for the next 5 days today. I guess I'll pull out one of my exercise tapes and exercise inside instead.

I blew it

Last night was a total disaster. I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep my dinner to just 3 pts, but I had no idea that I was going to pig out the way I did. Yesterday was Derrick's birthday. I was planning to cook dinner but by the time I got home I was just too tired for that so I took him out for dinner instead.

I thought I was making pretty good choices by selecting the grilled shrimp and double portion of veggies instead of veggies and rice, BUT then I found myself eating a slice of bread WITH butter, dipping the shrimp in the spicy cream sauce it came with, AND eating more than what was necessary portion of Derrick's birthday dessert (apple pie ala mode...my absolute favorite dessert...go figure).

So 3 days of recommitting and I've already blown it. I guess the only thing to do now is get back on track. If it doesn't rain, I'm going to take a walk at lunch time.

*********************
Menu (so far)
Cereal with milk - 3 pts
Coffee with cream - 2 pts

Day 3 of WW

As I start my third day of my recommitment to Weight Watchers, I must say that it's been so far so good. I had a couple of weird food choices yesterday (animal crackers for 5 pts, and SweeTarts for 2 pts) but overall, I did pretty well. I even skipped the chicken fettucine that Derrick prepared last night (and which I love) and opted for a sandwich and cereal instead. I also convinced Derrick and Jamal to go walking with me last night (still wondering how I did this by the way), which ended up being a nice little outing for the three of us. I'm hoping that it's something we can keep up.

***********************
Menu (so far)
Diet Pepsi - o pt
2 low-fat waffles with light syrup - 3 pts
Hot lemon tea with sweetener- 0 pt
Chicken cheese wrap - 8 pts
French fries - 12 pts (YES, I'm a complete idiot! I have exactly 3 pts left for dinner...sigh)
NO NEED TO CONTINUE THIS... I BLEW EVERYTHING OUT OF THE WATER WITH DINNER

Exercise (so far)
Vacuuming (yes, it's exercise!)

Sleep apnea test results

Last week I got the results from my sleep apnea test in May. I guess I forgot to post about it since the results weren't particularly interesting; I have mild sleep apnea. When I told Derrick, his immediate response was disbelief since in his opinion I must have the worst kind of apnea there is. Apparently to him my snoring is THAT loud. Anyway, he's wrong (and probably exaggerating). It's only mild.

So my next step is to make an appointment to see an ear, nose, and throat specialist. The doctor told me that the specialist would most likely suggest some kind of mouth piece or that vacuum thingy I told you about earlier. Fun. Fun.

Which do you think Derrick will prefer, my continued loud snoring or a vacuum thingy hanging out of my mouth? Sigh...

I'm never getting married...

Day 2 of WW

Well so far so good. I couldn't resist a third slice of pizza last night, so unfortunately I went into my flex points, but overall I did pretty well. I'll try to keep a better rein on myself today. According to the scale this morning (I know, I know), I am down the 2 or 3 pounds that I was up yesterday. Yeah right. I think scales were invented to torture women. They're almost never consistent.

I intended to have apple oatmeal this morning for breakfast, but I put too much water in it and now it looks like a soupy mess. I'm hoping if I nuke it for a minute or so I can evaporate some of the water. If not, I'll just have to throw it out and go without breakfast this morning. Although I'd hate to do that. I hate wasting food and I hate skipping breakfast even more. Weight Watchers has taught me that without breakfast I tend to crave food and overeat throughout the day.

The one really good thing is that I'm making sure that I do yoga in the morning so I can alleviate the tightness in my back. The pain and tightness aren't as bad as they were last week, but there's still some pain. The stretching really helps.

Now if only I can get motivated to start walking again....

*************************
Menu (so far)
Diet Pepsi - 0 pt
Apple oatmeal - 2 pts
Animal crackers ??? - 5 pts
Pad Khing (Thai) - 10 pts
SweeTarts (again ???) - 2 pts
Diet Pepsi - 0 pt
Turkey and cheese sandwich - 5 pts
Special K cereal and skim milk - 3 pts

27 of 26 daily pts/2 of 35 weekly flex pts

Exercise (so far)
Yoga morning stretch - 10 minutes
Yoga for the back - 24 minutes
Walk - 45 minutes

Back on the WW bandwagon!!!

I have a confession to make... It's been 3 weeks since my last weigh in. Yeah, I know. Horrible. What's more horrible is that I paid several weeks in advance, so you know I've basically been wasting my money. Something I HATE to do.

According to the scale this morning, I have gained 2 to 3 pounds since my last weigh in, which I find utterly and completely UNACCEPTABLE. I worked really hard to lose 31.8 pounds, and I refuse to see it slip away (like it did 2.5 years ago). So, as of today, I am back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon and recommitting myself to keeping a log in my blog of the food I eat during the day. Please people, I need YOUR help to keep me honest. For some reason, I always lose my motivation in the spring/summer. You'd think that's when I'd get more focused, but no, not me. I get lazy and want to eat out everyday. Ugh! Anyway, I'm also going to recommit myself to exercising, which I absolutely HATE to do and haven't been doing much of at all. I'm also going to log my exercise, but not the points associated with it. . I'm hoping this works for me. My goal is to be able to wear the size 14s that I bought in anticipation of my continued weight loss (yeah right) by July 1.

Anyway, here I go...and wish me luck, again...

**********************
Menu (so far)
Diet Pepsi - 0 pts
Coffee w/ 2 creamers - 2 pts
Chicken salad sandwich - 8 pts
Bayed potato chips - 4 pts
Diet green tea - 0 pts
2 slices cheese pizza - 8 pts
1 slice pepperoni pizza - 5 pts (I couldn't resist) :-(

27 of 26 daily pts/1 of 35 flex pts

Exercise (so far)
Yoga for the back - 24 minutes

He's checking me out!

Question: What would you do if a cute guy saw you in traffic, maneuvered his car through two lanes of traffic to sidle up next to you, expressed an interest in talking by showing you his cell phone, and then followed you for 30 minutes in rush hour traffic (still trying to get your attention) when you didn't return his interest?

I don't like flirting while driving, particularly when I have no business flirting with a boyfriend at home. But I'm wondering what YOU would do.

Inquiring minds want to know...

Coming out of the fog

I've decided that it's time for change in my life. Real change. The weight loss has been a bit slow the past few weeks and I haven't been following Weight Watchers as strictly as I once was, but I'm determined to stay on that path. But that's not the change I'm talking about. The change I need is with my job. I've been trying not to mention the job in my blog but I can't help it today. I'm miserable and have been miserable for a long time. It's just not challenging enough and I'm tired of fooling myself into thinking things are going to change. I'm just sick of sitting at my desk with little to do. SO ANYWAY, I've sent out my resume to several positions in the publications field that sound very interesting and I'm hoping that good things will result from it.

I was speaking with one of my coworkers today and she mentioned how my increasingly painful menstrual cramps and recent back pain may be physical symptoms of stress. It was like a lightbulb went off. I'M STRESSED OUT. And it's not because I'm so busy at work that I can't think straight, it's because I'm extremely bored with my job (and myself to be honest) that I can't think straight. I'm not enjoying the life that I always dreamed of having and I'm the only person who is going to make that change (thanks Kelli for clarifying this for me).

I'll keep you updated as to how things turn out.

June equals empty pockets...

Why you ask?

• June 10 - Clean carpets = $165
• June 14 - Powerwash house, patio deck, fence, and shed = $360
• June ? - Seal patio deck, fence, and shed = $235
• June 16 - Anita's birthday = $ (I'm not cheap. We only give each other cards.)
• June 17 - Coworker's bachelorette party/bridal shower = $$
• June 18 - Father's day cards and gifts for dad and for Derrick (from Jamal) = $$$
• June 21 - Derrick's birthday gift AND dinner = $$$
• June 24 - Cousins' housewarming gift - $ (They don't want gifts, but I'll get them a lil sumthin.)
• June 24 - Coworker's wedding - $$

Me = BROKE (and accepting donations) ;-)

Broke down at 34?

I'm convinced that my body is breaking down. First it was the debilitating menstrual cramps (that have now been alleviated with the help of the Lupron shot) and now it's chronic back pain. I've had back pain before, but nothing like what I'm currently experiencing. This new pain is a burning, stabbing pain located in my lower back that is very debilitating when I move in certain positions. I did an Internet search on the symptoms and it seems that the pain is neuropathic (meaning nerve related). Fun. Fun.

I'm going to have to make yet another doctor's appointment to get to the bottom of this new pain. Unfortunately, back and nerve problems run in my family on both sides. My dad has had chronic back pain for as long as I can remember, but his is mostly muscle related as a result of playing sports. My mother, on the other hand, developed nerve damage in her spine while in her early 50s from a degenerative condition. The operation to correct the problem almost made her a quadriplegic. She was paralyzed from the neck down for 4 months after the operation. She now walks with a cane as a result of permanent nerve damage. I thank God it wasn't worse.

I'm not concerned that I'm headed for a similar fate but I know I need to get this pain checked out as soon as possible. It's so bad now that I'm having trouble standing up out of chairs and even laying on my stomach or rolling over. I feel like an old lady, and Derrick told me that I look like an old lady. Old ladies are not sexy. Sorry, old ladies, but it's true.

Oh, and one more thing...speaking of old ladies... I'm now suffering from hot flashes as a symptom from the Lupron shot. Evidently, some of the symptoms of the shot mimic menopause. I used to think it was kind of funny when my mother started suffering from hot flashes. She could break out in a sweat in a heartbeat. Now that I'm feeling some of these effects, I can definitely say it's no laughing matter. At times it can only last for a few seconds, but those few seconds are miserable.

Still waiting for results...

Remember back in March when I took that sleep apnea study? Remember when I wrote that I'd get the test results back in two weeks? Well, guess what? I'm still waiting TWO MONTHS LATER!!!

After 3 or 4 phone calls to my doctor's office over the past 2 months, they have not been able to track down the results from the sleep center where I took the test. Mind you, the center is DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE. Why do I keep being confronted with incompetence?!!!

I'm going to call the sleep center myself tonight to see if I can get some results. If I do, best believe that SOMEONE at my doctor's office is going to get the tongue lashing of a lifetime.

Things that make you go hmmm...

Rushing to work (when you're already running late) to be on time for a conference call with your client, making it to work on time (with 30 minutes to spare before the call...Yeah! No traffic), and then realizing that your client is running late (or maybe just plain forgot).

I've now been online with the conference service for over 10 minutes and no client. In that time, I've heard from two other people, who are supposed to be on the call, wondering why it hasn't started.

Not a good way to start a Monday morning.

Scenes from a mall

I've been noticing something very odd lately in the mall. I'm not sure if it's because choices and prices are actually getting better, or if it's because I can now shop in stores that don't require a plus section. What's up with the cheap (meaning less expensive) clothes and shoes (and shoes even in 11 wides!) that I'm starting to find everywhere?

Over the past two weeks, I've shopped at H&M, Payless, and Target. I would normally never shop at any of these stores for clothes or shoes because at H&M I thought their clothes wouldn't fit me, at Payless I thought the shoes were ugly even though they had my size, and at Target even though I've bought some clothes from there I never thought there shoes would fit me. I thought they didn't have anything over a size 10. Boy have I been wrong.

H&M's clothes are offered in Large (I didn't see any XL) and size 16s, which I discovered last week I can wear. Payless shoes (at least their sandals) have improved greatly and I'm happy that they also offer a large selection of 11 wide. I'm most pleased, however, with Target. Target's clothes have always been cute, but now they offer shoes up to size 11. There not wide, but I'm finding that some are comfortable enough without being wide.

The best part about these stores is that their clothes and shoes don't cost a fortune. They're relatively cheap and great for someone like me who's in a size transition. So let the shopping begin!

P.S. If you know of any other stores that have trendy clothes at an affordable price, please let me know. Thanks.