I've fallen, and I can't get up

Yesterday I got another morning phone call from my mother while I was at work. I had just spoken to my mother about 20 minutes earlier while I was on my way to work, so I held my breath hoping that she wasn't about to tell me about another passing in the family (which has become a bit of a routine over the past few years when she calls me at work).

Well, it wasn't a passing but it was still bad news. My mother, while home alone, had fallen HARD in her house and couldn't get up (yes, just like the commercial). I was instantly in a panic because falling is a daily fear of my mother's. Several years ago, my mother began to suffer from a degenerative condition in her spine. More specifically, the ligament in her spine began to ossify (or turn to bone) and was causing nerve damage in her arms and legs. The surgery to correct the problem resulted in her complete paralysis for four months from the neck down. As you can imagine, that time was very scary for my family. The surgery was extremely dangerous, as the outcome could have resulted in permanent paralysis or even death. Luckily for my mother, she began to retain feeling after four months and over the years has been able to get around with just the use of a cane, even though she still has limited movement in her arms and legs. However, the fall has now changed all that.

After getting my mother's call, I immediately left the office and rushed through the 40 minutes it takes to get to her house. When I got there, she was on the floor near her bed and complaining of a swollen, sprained ankle. It looked more to me like a broken ankle, so I immediately called 911. She was taken to the hospital by ambulance and after a few x-rays it was discovered that she did indeed break her ankle, and unfortunately it's the ankle of her stronger leg. Now she's home with her ankle wrapped in a soft cast and elevated, her pain medicine at the ready, my dad at her beck and call, and anxiously awaiting her appointment with the orthopedist on Monday. And I'm now left to worry about how she's going to get around for the next few months.

New paint smell...aaaaaahhhh

My upstairs hall bathroom is FINALLY painted in a color I can live with. No more Pepto Bismol pink that the previous home owners loved so much, no more hideous crayon blue that I thought would look nice with the ugly blue laminate floors, and no more baby blue that I thought would look nicer with the ugly blue laminate floors. Oh, and no more ugly blue laminate floors. I replaced them with a nice off-white ceramic tile. But wait, I haven't gotten to the best part... the new color in the bathroom is:

The color of light oatmeal or Sandstone (to be exact)

I LOVE IT!!!! It makes the bathroom look big and airy and has a sort of Zen-like, spa appeal. In fact, I'm so in love with this new color, I'm now thinking of staining the bathroom cabinet, which is currently a honey brown color, a dark chocolate brown to complement the walls and further expand the Zen-like appeal of the room. I'm actually excited about decorating this bathroom now. I'm imagining a dark wicker basket on the sink counter, candles, dark brown shelving with knicknacks, and maybe even a couple of pictures on the wall to tie the whole room together. I can't wait to get started.

Black on black customer service

Why is it that SOME blacks (note, not all) don't know how to give decent customer service to their black customers? I really don't understand this. You would think we as a people would be nicer to each other. I mean we have a history of having "others" mistreat us, so why do some of us feel compelled to mistreat and disrespect our own?

Yesterday my mother and I were confronted with a somewhat unpleasant incident in the drive thru line at McDonald's (yeah, yeah, I know). We had placed our order and had moved up to pay for our food. When we go to the window, the cashier, a black woman probably in her 40s was taking the order of the person behind us. Apparently she was a bit upset with the other customer because the person wasn't clear about what they wanted. I think they ordered chocolate without explaining whether it was a chocolate milkshake, chip cookie, or whatever. Anyway, she turns to me and says, "How the hell am I supposed to know what kind of chocolate they want?!" Now I instantly didn't appreciate this or any of the other things that came out of her mouth about other customers she has had to deal with in the past. I mean, all I wanted to do was pay for my food and get out of there, not hear her complain about the other customer. I HATE when people working in retail complain TO customers ABOUT other customers. This is bad form and very rude. I immediately wondered whether she would have said this to a white customer, or is it because I am black, she felt that I wouldn't mind her talking to me like this. Anyway when she was finished I responded with "Right (very dry and sarcastically), now how much do I owe you?"

I was irritated, especially since she made her comments in front of mother. If you know my mother she is NOT the type of person who likes to hear people cursing in her presence. My mom's a Southern lady, a class act, and she expects others to act accordingly. She was not amused.

Anyway, I had put the incident behind me until Derrick told me about a run in he had with another black cashier this morning at the grocery store. First, the woman gave him attitude when he asked her if her register was open. Mind you, there was a long line at another register and she failed to mention to anyone that she was opening another register. A woman had walked up with her cart in front of Derrick and he was following behind her but it wasn't clear whether the cashier was going to accept them at her register. Instead of responding "yes" like a normal person, she instead made a motion that was like, "can't you see that I'm opening this register?!" I don't know how Derrick restrained himself from going off on her. He's never shy about getting into a confrontation, but somehow he managed it this time. Instead he calmly noted to the woman that she hadn't turned her register light on and proceeded to wait while she rang up the customer in front of him.

Derrick felt further slighted by the cashier when she asked the white customer in front of him and the white customer now behind him if they wanted bags, but didn't ask him. Now some might find this petty but I see this kind of thing happen all the time. Why do SOME black cashiers go out of their way to give good customer service to white customers but are ok with giving the "okeydoke" to black customers?! This upsets me to no end.

So this is a notice to ALL black customer service providers in the hopes that the ones who need it get the message. In the future when I come to your register and you see my black face, please note that I am not your homegirl who you can talk to any type of way. I'm your customer. Please acknowledge that and treat me with the respect I, as a paying customer, deserve.

The Al Roker/Lenny Kravitz connection

What do Al Roker, the "Today Show" weather man, and the sexylicious (yeah I said it) singer, Lenny Kravitz, have in common?

They are second cousins.

I didn't know this until Meredith Veira mentioned it on the "Today Show" this week. I instantly made the connection that Roxie Roker, Lenny Kravitz's mother and Helen from "The Jeffersons", must be Al Roker's first cousin. I bet there are tons of similar celebrity family connections in the entertainment world.

Did you get a look at that photo?! Damn, he fine! I love me some Lenny. SEXXY!

Act 2: Getting my work out on

I've worked at my company for a year and some change and just found out THIS WEEK that there is a gym on the premises (in the building adjacent to mine) that is available for all employees for FREE.

A coworker hipped me to the gym and took me to see it the other day. It's smaller than a typical gym of course but large enough to have 2 treadmills, 2 ellipticals (my favorite machine), 2 exercise bikes, free weights, a circuit machine, some other machines that I didn't get to check out, a big TV in the corner, and space to stretch. Oh, it also has a locker room/bathroom with showers. Did I mention that all this is FREE?!

It's funny how I confess that I need to save money AND lose weight and a few days later I'm blessed with access to a free gym. I tell you the Lord works in mysterious ways.

Anyway, I can't believe I've slept on this all this time. Before I can start using the gym, I have to sign a waiver (which I did yesterday) which basically promises that I won't sue the building if I keel over from a heart attack and that I won't invite people to use the facility who are not employed in the buildings. Now I just have to wait (hopefully only a couple of days) for management to activate my key card to gain access to the gym and then I'll be on my way to getting my work out on!

Act 1: Getting my financial house in order

Over the weekend I read and reread my post "Never Satisfied" and reflected on things that I want to accomplish to reach satisfaction within the next two years. The item at the top of my list is to pay off my credit card debt. First of all, let me say that I have excellent credit. My credit score is in the 800s. However, the blemish to my credit that keeps me from sleeping well at night is that I have high debt. I HATE owing anything to anyone. The problem is that even though I pay my bills on time, my bills are too high (and adding a new car to the mix didn't help). So, I have developed a plan to get my financial house in order and have already put some of it into action. The good thing is that this plan enables me to both pay down debt AND save for the future.

Here are some of the steps I've devised to get my financial house in order:

1. Talk with a financial advisor - My former landlord is a financial advisor, so I've reached out to him to discuss what I can and should be doing to pay down my debt while saving money at the same time. (I should have done this a long time ago.)
2. Make adjustments to allowances on W-4 form - I've increased my allowances on my W-4 form so that instead of waiting for a big tax refund at tax time, I can get my money up front each month. I'm going to use this money to pay off my bills.
3. Transfer the balance of my high interest rate credit cards to my lower interest credit card - This is a no brainer and something I should have done a while ago. I'm going to consolidate two credit cards with moderately low balances but ridiculous interest rates to my card with the ridiculous balance but low interest rate. I was trying to pay them separately, but it's easier to only have to pay on one card each month. That way I can put more of a dent into the debt. Also I WILL NOT close these two accounts once the balances have been transferred. I've learned that closing these accounts (which I've had for a while) can hurt my credit score because it erases my credit history...And like I said before, my credit is excellent. I don't want to erase that. So, I'll cut these cards up instead. No access equals no spending.
4. Cancel my current savings account and open an ING Direct savings account - The interest rate for the savings account at my existing bank is 0.56%. I received an offer in the mail last week from ING Direct that offers a 4.4% interest rate AND will GIVE ME $25 to get started. Um...that's FREE money, people. And there are no fees for minimum balances or anything else. You can't beat that.
5. No more frivolous spending - This means no more eating out, no more shopping for things I want versus things I need, and just no more wasting money!!! Again, a no brainer.
6. Maintain a check book - It's been forever since I kept a check book, but I'm starting back at it today.

Anyway, that's just some of the steps I've put in place to get started. I'll maintain a status report of my progress in the coming months. Wish me luck!!!

Never satisfied

I've been up since 2:30 a.m. and it's now almost 5:00 a.m. I can't sleep....again. A bunch of stuff is flowing through my mind as it has for the past few nights. For starters, I'm thinking about how I don't want to go to work in the morning. Work is still pretty miserable. For the past month I've been interviewing and/or sending out my resume to get an interview, but so far I haven't found a position I really like.

I'm currently having "issues" with just about every aspect of my life, largely because I'm not who, what, or where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. I'm constantly struggling with being happy with where I am, but it's hard. I have a job that pays me well but is not challenging and is boring as hell. I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me but doesn't seem to love me enough to want to get married any time soon even after 4 years of togetherness (hmm). I want a baby but I want to get MARRIED FIRST (duh!) and I couldn't now even if I wanted to because I'm taking the stupid Lupron to control my hormones. I want to get my debt under control but at the same time I want to buy new furniture, buy a new laptop (a Mac...expensive), and hell I just bought a new car! Oh and did I mention that I also want to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE. Even though four years ago I was over the moon about purchasing a townhome and becoming a new home owner, now all I can think about is how small and crowded this place has become. I want a house, specifically with a basement where I can set up a little gym. I'm too cheap to join a gym. Oh yeah that reminds me, I also want to lose the 8 pounds (and a whole lot more) of the 31 pounds I lost earlier this year. Hell, I'll never be satisfied with being overweight but why do I always want so damn much?!...sigh

I try to put things in perspective by telling myself that there are others who would love to have what I have and that I should be thankful, but it's hard when others seem to be happily living the life I want to have. I don't know why I'm always trying to keep up with the damn Joneses of the world. But no, even realizing that the grass is not always greener on the other side still doesn't stop me from always thinking, always stressing, always struggling to not want every damn thing (right now) and to just accept what I have and let the things come when they come.

I can't believe this shit is keeping me up at night! How fucking sad is that?! Ugh! I know one thing, some changes are definitely in order. I need some peace, satisfaction... and my beauty sleep. Nite!

It's a Nissan Altima, y'all

No. I didn't get a Dodge Caliber.

Uh uh, not a Toyota Camry either.

Nope. Not the Acura TL...

I got the Nissan Altima.

Why?

Can you say $1700 REBATE?!

Oh and it's RED with tan leather interior!

Can you say Va Va Va Voom?!

I love the way it handles.

I love the price.

I'm so happy!

FINALLY!!!!